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Soft like an easy chair-
my ass.
It’s just the mood I’m in right now, I guess.
I don’t write about love-
don’t want to write about it because it makes
me feel like a romantic fool.
There’s no room for romantic notions
in a hyper technologized world of IM.
The time to develop the intensity of feelings
and bonds of trust have become truncated into
smiley faces and empty and
quick “I love you emails” and text messages.
I say it so much that the feelings I used to have
when I felt it is gone.
The heat and swelling in my chest.
The flush of my cheeks.
My hands going numb.
Ears throbbing and mind made blank by an emotion
so intensely overwhelming there was, as
the alcoholics would say, the magnificence of God.
But I say it back to everybody that says it to me and
when I think about how much I don’t mean it-
it only adds to the emptiness I feel
about my everyday existence.
When I don’t think about it but feel how empty it is
All I want to do is drink.
Booze is no muse though.
It only magnifies the desperation of being surrounded by
I love you’s” and not feeling loved.
It does, however, temporarily hide the fact that all of
this means nothing.
Nihilism is on short order after a bottle or two of montepulciano.
And whisky knocks it down that much better.
So love-
I’m writing about love and it’s new status as an apparition.
A ghost of what was and what everybody hopes to attain
Without knowing its true nature.
With no experience base of its highs and lows.
Because sans this understanding of the heart and mind
that relegated it to the dream realm,
the nether regions,
we all believe in reality TV’s version of love.
And that’s some real bullshit.

  • I was compelled to respond “love,”; which I think is the point – I respond to love. Love shouldn’t always be “soft like an easy chair” – it should challenege as well as engage our spirit. To feel love one must be worthy, love worthiness is dervied from loving ourselves and others without expectation. I never say I love you without meaning it and I say it all the time, not necessarily with word but rather thought and deed – maybe the deepest expression of love. I love strangers, people I don’t particularly like and even those perceived as my enemies. I practice love with my prayers since God’s purest form of expression is love. It’s impossible to love more than you are loved because expressing the depths of your love within and externally is what love is. If your desire is a deep burning love that will burn forever and through whatever, than don’t expect a prince – be a princess. Love is not an apparition but is being challeneged by the instant gratfication society that we’ve become. Love is reward of time and faith that we’re worthy of love. Some people don’t give it because they think they won’t get it in return, love is not a swap meet – we give it because that’s what love does. When our hearts are true it will be impossible to contain the radiance. Then that deep level you seek will find you and the blessing will many times be overwhelming. Love is not an act is a spiritual way of being. I know you’re loved today, share that love with others. I love you!

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