We began with 9 aspiring drag queens vying to be crowned America’s next Drag Queen Superstar. Now if that wasn’t enough inspiration to cream you jeans, then watching the show will solve that problem for you. It’s delicious. It’s all funnel cake with no calories good. The ladies are everything you want them to be. And if you’d forgotten that RuPaul is the reigning queen of everything, she makes sure your loyalty will never falter again.
Okay, I know that’s a bit much about a show with a bunch of queens in dresses, but I’m in love. The whole thing makes me pump my arm and kick my feet up whenever Ru gives the qualities she’s looking for in her Superstar. Those qualities are Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. She doesn’t ever say the acronym, (it actually took a friend of mine to write it out in a column for me to get it- thanks Liz) but you get the picture.
The first few eliminations were easy enough. Get rid of the fat one and the REALLY weird one. But that left all beauties and tons of personality and brings me to my the heart of the matter. After Jade was cut and Rebecca Glasscock remained- I began to hate The Glasscock.
Rebecca Glasscock gives female realness and is beautiful, but doesn’t have any personality or talent. I couldn’t believe she made it past the talk show portion of the competition. She’s a bore. I mean Shannel does talk A LOT and Nina Flowers’ English does leave something to be desired, but they are gorgeous and their beauty has some character.
Not true for Glasscock. My friend Liz called Ongina a one trick pony. Well at least her trick was entertaining besides her being cute as a button and having the walk of life and making me bawl when she won the Viva Glam challenge. Rebecca couldn’t finish because she was so emotional because her best friend has HIV. Well Ongina’s been living with HIV for 2 years and ROCKED IT!!!!
So this week Shannel got booted (actually elected herself off) from the Illusions Lounge and The Glasscock’s still there against Bebe Zahara Benet and Nina Flowers. Just choosing between those two is gonna be difficult enough but to throw that little thing into the competition is embarrassing. She’s not gonna win.
When there was the ultimate drag ball, I was 14 years old watching Paris is Burning and screaming, kicking my legs up and yelling “EXTRAVAGANZA” like my balls were tucked in my anus. Nina’s vogue was all the rage. I tried to do it with her and then my legs started burning and I realized that I’d gained back the 20 lbs. I’d lost in the last 2 years. BURNING, not like Paris, but like the overweight middle aged girl who still has the drag queen inside of her. (My quote since I was introduced to the grand goddess RuPaul, has been “if RuPaul is a man, then what am I?”.) I’ve even taking to vogueing in my room again. Oh, Happy Gay Day!!! But enough about me.
To make Nina vogue against the Glasscock was clearly just an exercise to make me yell more at my TV and rage at the empty wine bottles on the table. Bebe and Shannel were better than the baby queen but they made Nina demolish her on the stage. Thanks Ru.
More importantly, the reason I don’t like the Glasscock is because of America’s Next Top Model. She’s one of those girls. Catty, back stabbing, pretty with no personality and all about the “competition” while the other girls are family. They are mature, encouraging, understanding, and supportive of each other. When watching Under the Hood and seeing how Bebe was such the mama of the babies. She and Nina are the mom’s of the show. They told Shannel what I need someone to tell me, what I need to hear every morning.
I love RuPaul and have even started vogueing again in my mirror before I go to bed. I’ve started playing Rock Band on the X-Box and I’ve taken “lip-sync for your life” to new levels.
But what I’ve really learned and hear in my head when I’m moving ahead in this journey is “and don’t fuck it up”.