An Open Letter to the Olympic Commentators

Dear Olympic Commentators,

SHUT THE FUCK UP!  Please.  You are ruining something that I have to look forward to for four years.  Every year it’s getting worse and worse and I think the #epicNBCfail of it all is that NBC hates the people who watch its network.  I’ve been saying for a while that NBC wants to go out of business and I now know that Kabletown can not handle the pressures of viewership.  Do you know that I’m switching between Goodfellas and the Olympics because I need to watch GOODFELLAS to wash the sound of those terrible voices out of my head.

The manipulative stories with their excessive use of hyperbole being SCREAMED at me makes me want to throw my best friend, TV, out of the window.  Let me decide when I want to get excited.  Don’t force feed me my emotions.  And I don’t believe you’re that excited.  & stop talking about how heartbreaking people losing is.  These are Olympic athletes.  They know how competition works.  So you asking them how devastated they are 2 seconds after they lose is crass.  Also, give them a minute to catch their breath when they finish, win or lose.  Do you know how hard they’ve been working.  Let them have their moment personally for a minute.  Just a minute, since I know that these Olympics are costing you about $8000 every 30 seconds (or something like that…), but maybe you can at least pretend to be human beings.  

But I have learned that Americans can’t be quiet for a fucking minute.  We have to fill up space.  They talk through the event.  The event is an afterthought to all that fucking talking. So thanks, I love to learn.

And this isn’t for you commentators, this is for your boss.  NBC- you suck balls.

Sincerely, 

Me


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