My Favorite Things on TV now are commercials

I love them.  They used to be what I turned away from but now I actually find them more interesting than the broadcast shows that surround them.  I’m a big preacher of the fact that the medium is based on commercials as it evolved from its blind version- radio.  It was Philip Morris who helped us love Lucy, et cetera, et cetera.  I contend that if we would watch commercials 24h a day that’s what we’d have. [If they could just show commercials…]  but then commercials have to become something we were aware of Pay No Attention To the Man behind the Curtain.  We just wanted to sell luxury cars in a recession.  We like poking fun at corporate CEO by having them look silly with cornrows in their hair to make them like safe puppy people.  Sure they’ve paid their hair braider with your grandchildren’s college fund, but he felt like something different today.  Isn’t that cute.  

Of course commercials became irreverent.  They turned in on themselves and became the butt of their own jokes particularly in the 21st century where everything not so old is new again.  

Since we’re votaries of nostalgia the sky’s the limit.  Old concepts become new to an increasingly youthful culture whose concept of history begins at their birth.

Commercials are so good that you don’t often know what’s being sold.  It doesn’t matter anyway because it’s more a lifestyle that’s being sold than any products.  Products are by-products of lifestyle.

Or is it that we don’t care?  I mean, I don’t have a car- but I know how not to pay a lot for car insurance.  The IT commercial for eBay was so hilarious to me I wanted to tape it (I live in the dark ages of video tapes) so I could watch it all the time.  As a staunch anti commercialist the real problem is that I’m just discovering what Madison Ave. has known for years.

Advertising works.  Okay, so I’ve known it for some time now.  I’ve known it intellectually.  I have all of these pieces of paper saying I should know better than anybody.  But what I need you to understand is that I knew I was immune to it.  I know what they’re doing.  I’m above this because I actually work with the man behind the mirror.  

But I have to say, I have recently bought more bullshit that I don’t need.  The more money I don’t have, the more I need something off of eBay (okay, eBay seems to be a theme/ problem I might need to address with a shopping professional).

And in these times of devastation, blatant governmental corruption, war and crazy unemployment: commercials are more aggressively displaying beautiful lives of beautiful people showing us everything is okay.

But just when I’m rushing to my computer to type in “Popular Store with colorful commercials.com” I’m stopped by my all time favorites.  Drug commercials.  Drug commercials help me come to my senses about what’s really going on.  They might as well have Phillip Morris sponsor television again because their non-smoking commercials only make me want a cigarette.  I don’t buy it.  These people don’t believe it.  They want to smoke.  They don’t really want to stop.  I can see it in their eyes.  

My absolute favorite commercials right now are about prescription drugs.  I love them.  But more importantly I love the irony of when they’re shown.  Drugs for social anxiety during “Friends” and “Seinfeld”.  Drugs for impotence and female birth control during “Sex and the City” reruns.

Insomnia drugs teasing me when I’m watching X-Files at 2a.

The little circle thing that has such severe social anxiety that he can’t get it on with his little ladybug friend.  Man he broke my heart.

The woman with adult ADD… who hasn’t’ felt like that after like 5 cups of coffee before noon and no sleep cause the kids had a play, and your husband was going out of town.  When I saw what her mind would turn to…hell I’d be a little scattered too.

And sorry to say that it’s a dangerous game to ask New Yorkers particularly (and Americans in general) if they’re depressed, afraid to go outside, fearful of the future…? Well duh, yeah!  So that means that most of NY City would be like that little circle and start bouncing again?  Really?  

So if commercials work and there’s an overabundance of commercials selling drugs to fix things that most every human being has experienced- what kind of society are we building?  We told outright lies by the people who are supposed to Protect? Care? Represent us and told no no no, don’t believe your lying common senses.  

We’re being catered to as a bunch of bratty kids.  Life’s tough and beautiful.  But we’re getting told- sold, the idea that natural human behaviors and reactions to an increasingly unsure world, made that much more unsure by news agency that now hype things that have been happening since Caesar was still just a general, like washing machines and luxury cars.  Washing machines people need.  Luxury cars- not so much.

Along side of these drug ads are the ads telling parents to take personal responsibility for telling their kids to not take drugs.

The idea of personal responsibility is both heralded and demonized in a schizoid society where lies roll down from the top of gov’t like water and even under a litany of indictments we’re told to trust distrustful people.

So you smoked a little pot when you were younger- doesn’t matter.  U must tell your children how bad it is.  Whether you believe it or not, you’re a terrible parent if you don’t and your kids will end up like Robert Downey Jr. (Pre-Iron Man RDJ, I’ve always loved him and never gave up.  Tell him to call me.)

But if you’re anxious about talking to your kids about pot, take some Prozac. It’ll make it easier to not do drugs.

Are you serious?

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