In my unemployed, I guess I’d be called a housewife; only I’m not necessarily cleaning or cooking. I’m washing hella dishes and not averse to putting a load of clothes in the machine. But mostly I’m applying for jobs, trying not to beat myself up for not becoming an investment banker and having a soul, and watching TV.

We have SkyTV now, but when we were in “the other house”, I would see that Judge Judy was on and get struck by a longing I hadn’t expected. I didn’t really watch her at home as I had Judge Milian and Judge Hachette. Naturally, as a single woman, Divorce Court was a warming panacea reinforcing my choice to wait for MY dude. Hell, there were even cases of whether the people should even get married or not.

But Judge Judy, comparatively, was the man. Her old school insistence on having a job and not having babies out of wedlock had a certain Judge Mathis/ Joe Brown type of respectability politic built into it. It came on CBS and was for me the judicial equivalent of yelling, “get offa my lawn”.

That was til I came here. And I got older and although I don’t have a lawn, I wouldn’t want any darn fool kids playing on it.

But why is she on so much here? I can watch Judge Judy (and ANY of the Law & Order franchises- even Trial by Jury & LA) at almost anytime of the day here in the Blighty.

Is this to teach Britons with their barristers and House of Lords  how superior our legal system is? I don’t really understand this system as it’s not an actual democracy, I don’t think…but who am I kidding, neither is ours.

But why Judge Judy? Over our myriad other sitting know it alls? In watching her so much now, I think I get it. She’s such a boomer it’s not even funny. And it’s weird for me to think of her as such, but she is.   But while she gets what “the kids do” she doesn’t approve and still has a certain amount of Victorianism about her. Maybe it’s the robes. She doesn’t understand text messaging or why people use such bad language in it. (Thank God for Bird who’s there as her protector, translator and straight man.)

Which brings us to race. I know, I know, but if you don’t want to read about race and TV, you’re in the wrong place buddy.

I can tell when she’d made up her mind already based on how someone looks and sounds. Watching older ones I can see more compassion during the financial crisis then I can now as she suggests to the unemployed to go collect cans.

If a woman has more than 2 fathers of their children (try writing that sentence, awkward), I heard her tell a woman “you’ve been around the block a few times, madam”. Black man with cornrows…he’d better have an MBA and a shoebox worth of receipts.

More on this later.